The Bro and Urinating Rabbis
I am posting the following mishnah and text from the Gemara not only because I couldn’t help laughing when I read them, I’ll admit it, but also because I serious want to know what people think of them. The mishnah is a bit more understandable, it is part of list of physical characteristics that disqualify a priest. It describes what some rabbis thought were disqualifying physical characteristics, telling a lot of what the rabbis thought about the male and female bodies and how they relate to each other. There is lots of information contained in this Gemara about the medical beliefs of the rabbis, but to some extent I want to know “What were they thinking when they composed and transmitted these stories, and why did they think that they should be in the Gemara.” There is a moral teaching that one can identify about issues of modesty and the emphasis on avoiding harmful things, such as not urinating for a long time. It’s almost as if Judd Apatow had a hand in composing this sugyah. I know that the sophomorish side of me is showing a bit, but what do texts like this say about what the Talmud is or was meant to be? The more I read over these texts, I am drawn to the line, ” ועקרה – שלא תהא תפלתך עקורה לפני המקום, אימתי -בזמן שאתה משים עצמך כבהמה” (“The words ‘Or female barren’ mean that your prayers shall not be fruitless before the Lord. And when will this be the case? If you place yourself on a level with an animal”). Maybe this sugyah is trying to emphasis that human beings are not suppose to act like animals. This is somewhat of an ironic statement because many of the acts which are described as being permitted would today seem like acts of animals. For those who didn’t get the “Bro” joke, read here.
מתני’. דדין שוכבין כשל אשה, כריסו צבה, טיבורו יוצא, נכפה אפילו אחת לימים, רוח קצרה באה עליו, המאושבן, ובעל גבר.
גמ’. אמר רבי אבא בריה דרבי חייא בר אבא: משתינין מים בפני רבים ואין שותין מים בפני רבים; ותניא נמי הכי: משתינין מים בפני רבים, ואין שותין מים בפני רבים, ומעשה באחד שביקש להשתין מים ולא השתין, ונמצא כריסו צבה. שמואל איצטריך ליה בשבתא דרגלא, נגדו ליה גלימא, אתא לקמיה דאבוה, א”ל: אתן לך ד’ מאה זוזי וזיל אהדר עובדא, את דאפשר לך, דלא אפשר ליה ליסתכן? מר בר רב אשי איצטריך אגודא גמלא אשתין, אמרו ליה: חמתך קאתיא! אמר להו: באודנה. ותיפוק לי משום עלקא? בשותת. ת”ר: שני נקבים יש בו באדם, אחד מוציא שתן ואחד מוציא שכבת זרע, ואין בין זה לזה אלא כקליפת השום, בשעה שאדם נצרך אם נקבו זה לתוך זה נמצא עקר. אמר ר”ל: מאי דכתיב +דברים ז’+ לא יהיה בך עקר ועקרה ובבהמתך, אימתי לא יהיה בך עקר – בזמן שבבהמתך. אמר רבי יהושע בן לוי: לא יהיה בך עקר – מן התלמידים, ועקרה – שלא תהא תפלתך עקורה לפני המקום, אימתי – בזמן שאתה משים עצמך כבהמה. אמר רב פפא: לא ישתין אדם מים לא על כלי חרס, ולא על מקום קשה, דאמר רב: הני מדורי דבבל מהדרי מיא לעין עיטם אמר אביי: הא איתתא לא תקום להדיא באנפי ינוקא, אגיסא – לית לן בה. תניא, רשב”ג אומר: עמוד החוזר – מביא אדם לידי הדרוקן, סילון החוזר – מביא אדם לידי ירקון. אמר רבה בר רב הונא, אמר רב קטינא אמר ריש לקיש: דם רבה – שחין רבה, שכבת זרע רבה צרעת רבה, צואה רבה – הדרוקן רבה, מי רגלים רבין ירקון רבה.
רוח קצרית באה עליו. מאי נינהו? תנא: רוח בן נפלים באה עליו.
המאושבן ובעל גבר. תנא: משובן – בביצים, ובעל גבר – בגיד. תנא: משובן – זה הקיין, הגרבתן – זה בעל קיק, קיין – בביצים, גרבתא – בגיד. ועד כמה? מחוי רב יהודה עד רכובה. תניא, רבי אליעזר בן יעקב אומר: עד רכובה – פסול, למעלה מן רכובה – כשר; איכא דאמרי: עד רכובה – כשר, למטה מן הרכובה – פסול.
Bechorot 44b
MISHNAH. IF ONE HAS LARGE BREASTS LIKE THOSE OF A WOMAN, ONE WHOSE BELLY IS SWOLLEN, ONE WHOSE NAVEL PROJECTS, [OWING TO ILLNESS], ONE WHO IS SUBJECT TO EPILEPTIC SPELLS EVEN AT INFREQUENT INTERVALS, ONE WHO IS SUBJECT TO ASTHMATIC SPELLS, A ME’USHBAN AND A BA’AL GEBER [ALL THESE ARE UNFIT FOR THE PRIESTHOOD].
GEMARA. R. Abba b. R. Hiyya b. Abba reported in the name of R. Johanan: It is permitted to urinate in public, whereas it is not permitted to drink water in public. So indeed it has been taught: It is permitted to urinate in public, whereas it is not permitted to drink water in public. And it once happened that someone wanted to urinate and forewent it, and it was found that his belly was swollen. Samuel needed to urinate on a Sabbath preceding a Festival. He spread his cloak [as a screen between his audience and himself]. He came before his father [and reported this to him]. He [the latter] then said to him: ‘I will give you four hundred zuz to retract this ruling, for you were able to spread a cloak, but one who is not able to do so, shall he delay and expose himself to the danger?’
Mar son of R. Ashi was walking on the junction of a landing bridge when he needed [to ease himself]. They said to him. ‘Your mother-in-law comes’. He replied to then,: ‘Even in her ear’. But may I not assume that the swelling of his belly arose from swallowing a leech? — [We are dealing here in a case] when he discharged urine [laxly].
Our Rabbis taught: Two channels are in the membrum of a human being, one of which discharges urine and the other semen, and the distance between them is no more than the peel of garlic. If then a person needs to ease himself, and one channel interferes with the other, he is found to be impotent.
Said Resh Lakish: What is the interpretation of the Scriptural text: There shall not be male and female barren among you or among your cattle? [It is as follows]: When will there not be a male barren among you? If you put yourself on a level with an animal. Said R. Joshua b. Levi: The words ‘There shall not be male barren’ mean that your house shall not be deprived of scholars. The words ‘Or female barren’ mean that your prayers shall not be fruitless before the Lord. And when will this be the case? If you place yourself on a level with an animal. Said R. Papa: One must not urinate in an earthen tub nor in a hard spot. For Rab said: The drains of Babylon carry water to En Etam.
Said Abaye: A woman must not stand actually before a child and urinate. [If she urinates] sideways, however, there is no objection.
We have learnt [in a Baraitha]: R. Simeon b. Gamaliel says, A suppressed discharge produces dropsy. To force back the urine in the urinary duct produces jaundices. R. Kattina reported in the name of Resh Lakish: If blood is allowed to increase, skin disease will develop. If semen is allowed to increase, leprosy develops. If excrement is allowed to increase, dropsy increases. If one allows the urine to increase [through neglect], jaundice develops.
ONE WHO IS SUBJECT TO ASTHMATIC SPELLS. What is this? — Nala. A Tanna taught: The spirit of ben nefalim comes upon him.
A ME’USHBAN AND A BA’AL GEBER. A Tanna taught: ME’USHBAN is in the stones and BA’AL GEBER is in the membrum. It has been taught: Me’ushban is the kayyan, and arbatha is the ba’al kik. Kayyan means stones [which are abnormally large] and arbatha means the membrum [which is abnormally large]. And of what size? Rab Judah indicated this as up to the knee. It has been taught: R. Eliezer b. Jacob says: The membrum which reaches up to the knee makes the priest unfit, but if it is above the knee, he is fit. Some there are who say: If the membrum reaches up to the knee the priest is fit, whereas if it comes below the knee he is unfit [for the priesthood].