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Matzav ha-Umah: Season Finale “All of Israel is a Mass Grave”

The Israeli comedy show Matzav ha-Umah (The State of the Nation) had its season finale on Saturday night. Matzav ha-Umah is Israel’s version of Jon Stewart and Jay Leno combined, although a bit harsher than what is accepted in America. The final show came down hard on Kadimah, especially Tzipi Livni. There were also numerous references to “the bomb,” and there were also some Shoah-related jokes. One joke was “With God’s help everything will be OK, but if the bomb falls here, what an incredible biur ḥametz (burning of leaven before Passover) it will be.”

It was a shorter program than usual, and it culminated in a song titled “All of Israel is a Mass Grave” (כל ישראל קבר אחים). The song talked about how all groups in Israel don’t like each other, but in the end, if the bomb drops, everyone will be incinerated together. Here is a rough translation of the song.

Ashkenazim hate Franks (i.e. Sepharadim)
They don’t let them come into the club,
In order that their wallet won’t get stolen,
Nor their wife raped.
Ḥaredim hate Ethiopians,
They are both black and stupid.
Why should you kill a woman,
Instead of letting her work and bring in money.

They see this from Bushehr (i.e. in Iran)
That every group hates the rest.
This is a pity, unnecessary, and stupid,
Because when the bomb falls here,
Then every sector and group
We will be one big cloud of human ash.

From the bomb we will all die together.
We will lie down, relaxed and smiling.
From the bomb we will all die together.
We will lie down, relaxed and smiling.

Ashkenazim with Mizraḥim (i.e. Sephardim),
Religious with secular,
Right-wing with left-wing,
Contract workers with contractors,
Rotting and smelly.

Even if we hated something scary,
From the bomb we will all die together.
All of Israel is a mass grave.

Settlers hate the Nazis,
Division commanders [in the army] hate unit commanders,
They should join the paratroopers,
Those sons of bitches.
Poor people hate tycoons,
[Tycoons] hate baboons,
Who take from them a salary and scream at a demonstration.

They see this from Bushehr
That every group hates the rest.
This is a pity, unnecessary, and stupid,
Because when the bomb falls here,
Then every sector and group
We will be one big cloud of human ash.
From the bomb we will all die together.
We will lie down, relaxed and smiling.
Ashkenazim with Mizraḥim (i.e. Sephardim),

A black and white board like checkers,
Everybody in a body bag,
It will be very funny if Sharon is the only one who survives,

Even if we hated something scary,
From the bomb we will all die together.
All of Israel is a mass grave.
From the bomb we will all die together.
We will lie down, relaxed and smiling.

3 Responses to “Matzav ha-Umah: Season Finale “All of Israel is a Mass Grave””

  1. 1
    Joe in Australia:

    Oh, this is so great! I suppose it’s what you call galus humor :-)

  2. 2
    DF:

    Classic left-wing hypocrisy. Projecting their own prejudices and racism on to assorted others. Ho Hum.

  3. 3
    Jeff:

    Just an update of Tom Lehrer’s classic:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs

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